Love in the Time of H1N1

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There is a pink post-it stuck to the side of my computer. It is the color of my 1989 Barbie convertible and it curls at the edges because I’ve had it for so long. I even brought it home with me from my office in case I needed it during quarantine. It reads: I’m known for inaccuracy and sporadic documentation techniques but this is perhaps the second most cryptic note I have… Read More

“Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Can I have a pop-tart?” I was bouncing on the balls of my feet, leaning on the kitchen counter as he washed the dishes from dinner. My legs were going a mile a minute while staying rooted in one spot in anticipation. I, of course, hadn’t wanted a single thing that had been laid across my dinner plate but I certainly wanted one of those… Read More

“…and equitably speaking, it’s abysmal. The system is failing them. Our children are being left behind.” I had pens lined up along my college adviser’s desk, modeling the achievement gap due to summer learning loss and income inequality. My hair was falling out of my ponytail and my brow was unnecessarily sweaty. She blinked at me through her Sally Jesse Raphael glasses, and handed me a print off of my fall class… Read More

When I was in my tens, which is an awkward way to say say I was in middle school, I met the loves of my life. Their names are Amy, Elli, and Valerie, always in that order. When I say their names, it comes out as one quick string of syllables, like a song lyric you’ve sung a thousand times but you aren’t quite sure what it is that you’re singing. Over… Read More

“Call your senator and tell him he’s so full of shit his eyes are brown!” I hung up the phone. “They aren’t open.” I echoed to the room. We had called our favorite tender at our favorite bar to see if we could throw back one more beer and throw down a couple extra twenties for the staff before the state shut everything down. From the sounds of it, we were too… Read More

There are two types of people. Those that sing the instrumental parts of a song, and those that don’t. I am the first. Currently, I have a song stuck in my head, but it’s just the musical part of the song, and so of course it’s completely un-Google-able. Dun-dunnnnn dundun. Dundundundun BOOM chaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lalalalala daaaaaaaaaaaaa blaaaaaaaaaaaaalonggggggggggg dunnnnn Weirdly, blaaaaaaaaaaaaalonggggggggggg dunnnnn gave me zero search results. Well false. It gave me one, but… Read More

  Today they announced that they would be cancelling “The Open”, the sport’s world’s ancient tradition of hitting balls into tiny holes while wearing pot holders for hats.  This means little to me except that it’s one more glaringly obvious sign that we aren’t getting out of this situation any time soon. Old white men everywhere would have surely held onto the oldest, most boring, tradition in recreation if they were able…. Read More