On a scale of one to ten, ten being the kind of day that the pages of history have taught us are best spent lying in bed*, today was an 11 in the way that only a completely negative human being who really just wants an excuse to lie in bed and drink the rum her friends brought her from Mexico that she was planning on saving for a special occasion can see it as an 11. Due to the rum, and the toe (see below), and the general ho-hum vibe surrounding me, I don’t have enough energy for anything more inspiring than a list.
Con: Leaving Lindsay because of snow
Pro: Beating most of the snow
Con: “Most” being the key word
Pro: Empty roads
Con: 2 hour, 30mph drive
Pro: I got home late enough that Bernie didn’t wake me up at dawn to pee
Con: I slept through 3 of the things I meant to do
Pro: Someone shoveled my driveway for me this morning
Con: Shoveling my driveway was going to be my workout
Pro: My shoveled driveway allowed me to get out of my house
Con: I broke my toe leaving my house
Pro: I broke my toe after the gym
Con: I didn’t have an excuse not to go to the gym
Pro: Dog food on sale
Con: All of the half priced dog food falling on Mary
Pro: One landed in my basket
Con: I forgot to buy tortillas
Pro: I saved money on tortillas
Con: I made tacos for dinner
Pro: I made low-carb tacos for dinner
Con: I wanted regular tacos
Pro: This adorable photo:
Con: She is growing up too fast.
Pro: I really actually have nothing to complain about and my life isn’t so horrible after all.
Con: I’m a whiny jerk face.
*”Philadelphia Story” — One of my favorite movies — and I swear to goodness if you ask me if “it’s that movie about AIDS” I will drop kick you so hard you’ll end up in 1983 where you and your terrible haircut belong.